it’s crazy how this blog use to be my life. i use to sit here every night, blogging pictures of the sick thin beautiful girls sprawled across my dashboard looking the way i could ever hope and dream to be. this account use to have almost 500 followers, but i haven’t been here in months. Now I’m down to 350, but that’s alright. This use to be the time of night where I would sneak down to my kitchen to weigh myself after my mom went to sleep, but tonight, I’m sneaking down to my kitchen to get myself some chips simply because I want a bed time snack, and no, I have no intentions of purging it up. With the help of my best friends joining me for daily walks, inspiring me to eat healthy and a promise I made to a very special person that gave me the will power to get better, I’m extremely proud to say that I’ve been doing consistently well for about two and a half months now, possibly have only purged TWICE where I use to be doing it every single day sometimes multiple times. On the other hand I also have not allowed my self anywhere near a scale for fear that I am going to have a total melt down and relapse, but we all have to start somewhere. I believe that once you accept the fact that you are sick, you use it as an excuse to allow yourself to carry on hurting yourself, but THIS IS NOT THE CASE. It is never okay. Don’t make any more excuses for yourself. Girls, (and to the boys who are suffering too, because they DO exist despite sexist stereotyping) please please get better. I know you think it’s impossible. BELIEVE me I know, I’ve been there. I’ve cried and cried. Hated myself. Starved for days. Purged until my teeth stung and I spit up blood. Watched my hair fall out in clumps. Watched the sparkle in my eyes disappear, along with the sparkling eyes of the people who love me as they watched me hurt myself day after day. But it gets better. I PROMISE you this. It will be hard, so hard you will want to die worse than ever before I swear to god but today when I look back even a few months ago I start to cry because I can’t believe how sick I sounded. Please, think of someone who loves you, and think of them crying because they don’t know how to help you and how much they love you. Pick that person, try to get better, for them. At least TRY, it’s the least you can do. But I promise you if you have that ”I’m going to be anorexic forever because it’s impossible to overcome” attitude, then that’s where you’re going to sit. On the other hand, if you believe you can do it you can. For a year, I sat here posting thinspo, encouraging, helping or what some like to call ”supporting” other girls with eating disorders. Call it what you want, you are NOT helping anyone do anything but kill themselves even if that’s not the intention. After a year of encouraging girls to be thin, I’m now encouraging them to get better. I promise it’s worth it, and believe me it’s possible. I’m here for every single one of my followers any time and always remember  if it’s not better it’s not over. 

and i’m living proof of this